look into my eyes

i did something i haven't done in a long time today. It's not earth moving or anything like that but it meant a lot to me now that I can feel Canada breathing down my neck. anyway the point is that i spent the afternoon at my popo's and it's something that i haven't done in like forever. We talked a bit about things and it made me miss my gong gong.

so my cousin Cedric was brought home from the nanny's in the evening and as usual, i couldn't not play with him =) he makes me smile. the creepy thing is that this little thing of 8 months made me think and realize somehting- one of the hardest and most vulnerable thing that a person can do is to look someone else in the eyes for a really long time. I mean STARE.

See, he isn't to familliar with me cause i only see him once a week but the thing is when he looks at me as if trying to put me into a box in his mind and figuring out who i am, it feels as if he sees into me and all that i am deep down. This is what i mean by making yourself vulnerable. Letting someone stare into your eyes and staring right back is a great leap of faith. it's opening yourself up to them and letting them look into your soul practically. I know it may not make sense to some people out there but to me I see it as a huge exercise in trust. Something that i'm sure i'm not ready to do with anyone at all.

Scary