don't waste the pretty

he's just not that into you

that four letter word

i've never been IN love

but i've fallen OUT of love

stones taught me to fly
love, it taught me to lie
life, it taught me to die
so it's not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball
-Damien Rice, Cannonball-

let's talk sex

"When you're nearly 20 and surrounded by guys you can't get. Really sets in."

somewhere in between

i feel your pain.

i want to hold on to that respect i know is due but i can't.

i've also always felt that we'll turn out like them but i wish we won't.

i hope with all my heart that we will break through the bounds that have constricted them.

write our own history, develop our relationship our way.

it's our time. our generation.

agak sedih

saya rasa macam saya ni agak sedih...

begitu banyak tempat saya nak pergi tapi kalau nak pergi sendiri macam malas dan rasa macam lusar je.

tapi kalau saya merancang untuk pergi, rasa macam pergi sendiri pun agak cool.

yang amat menyakitkan hati adalah apabila saya imagine saya pergi melawat semua tempat dengan 'dia'.

so is it all in my head and the fact that i have had no physical closure whatsoever?

is dreaming still happening because nothing solid was ever said?

is it being simply machoistic not saying anything and just pretending that nothing happened?

forgetting would be so much easier if...

'obsessive shadowing'

simply put: an unhealthy way of life

now make like a cow

moooving on to leaner, greener pastures

Give me the will to hold on.

just say it

feel free to say 'No'

just so you know

i want to make it known- my stance

at some point, everyone DOES leave

the question is if they come back, will it be the same ever again?

shameless hussy

my mortification is complete.
now if only the earth will open up and swallow me whole.

a whisper away

i take one step forward as you come nearer.
i can do this.
i freeze.
i think i'll run.
which direction?

as i lay my head back down

just sleep...it can't happen when you sleep

August 23, 2007

Heathrow, London- 6.15 a.m. local time

Yep. So this whole leaving thing wasn’t as easy as it started out to be but when the time actually came, it wasn’t AS hard as I thought it’d be. Yeah, there are heaps of you at home I love and miss but I know like someone told me, it’s time to start a new phase and as much or as big of a challenge this may be, what’s life without it? It’s time to learn to fall in love with another place.

There are hundreds of thoughts that run through my head of about how this whole new thing is going to be like and some of them are good, some are just a plain blank. I think I like the blanks better cause then I won’t have so many expectations.

Let’s hope this goes well eh?

six months on...this is where i am...has anything changed? have i grown any more?

and then.

and then when you've finally found those you're comfortable with...

...reality happens.

people always turn around...and leave.

who needs companions then?

you and me

companionship.

strange thing isn't it?

we all cross paths at one point or another in our lives.

but what keeps us in each other's lives?

how much do we have to have mattered to the other person to keep them in our lives?

how many footprints do we have to make?

why is it we all seem to need some form of companionship throughout our lives?

what's wrong with 'some men or women are an island'?

and then again why is it when surrounded in a room full of people one still feels really alone?

friends forever

i've never been the biggest believer in 'friends forever'

holding everyone at arm's length is the way to go

that way you won't get hurt....

this trip back has changed all that

they've made me WANT to believe in friends forever

so here's that small step i've promised myself to take...hopefully it'll be the first step to the many more i'll take.

Friends Forever